zimemma
tedspongebob1969
hgbbhin
MaximeHuet
YellowCoolPokemonMan
SumerloDek
Dragonfirejump
Myka215
EwE123456789
Socordiasomnia
MXtremePKMN500
Blueart14
Miraculous-Content
Sciamano240
sakimichan
Luigi-player
e-mancipate
shadicover90000
Epifex
spongekitty
Quirkilicious
Doc-Hammer
SirAquakip
Lukali
Amarevia
Vierna-Drottingu
Lady-Leaf
Collection
Favourites
Artist // Hobbyist // Digital Art
- Aug 30, 1990
- United States
- Deviant for 16 years
- She / Her
Favourite Movies
Lion King 1 & 2, Shrek 1 & 2, Enchanted, Stardust
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
Icon for Hire, Linkin Park, Owl City
Favourite Games
Pokemon, Obey Me
Favourite Gaming Platform
Switch
Tools of the Trade
Huion
Other Interests
Writing
Just Need To Write This Somewhere
0 min read
x'3; Just got to thinking randomly about some PH fanfics I've read...
Chekov can keep his gun. I will be perfectly happy if Jun Mochizuki conveniently forgets that Break is supposed to be dying. X3; *SHOT*†
(† = Quite likely fired from Chekov's Gun.)
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Pandora Hearts stuff 8U,,
0 min read
So almost no one will see this but I figure why not post it anyway. There's a better chance of some stranger/barely-acquaintance who cares stumbling across it here than of getting actual feedback on Facebook so yeh.
8U;;;; MY NEW PANDORA HEARTS THEORY, THEN
Warning
Spoilery
For Chapter 65/66
Stop reading if you haven't read them.
No really stop it.
---
BUT YES.
SO.
Rewatching the PH anime just now, I came to the part where Alyss, Break, and kiddie Vincent all meet in the heart of the Abyss, just after we've seen the flashback of Vinnie blinding and killing mortal-Cheshire.
And when Vincent sees Alyss, he gives a weak laugh and says
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Lore is Fun. :'3
0 min read
...Mostly I just needed a new journal entry.. None since January, beh.
Reading WoW lore lately. Hopefully will be able to write fanfiction when done. No promises. Not that anyone reads this.
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Profile Comments 167
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hey SG this is totally 100% random but!! hi it's me, luna/kayla/whatever i went by lmao hopefully you remember me. anyway i don't entirely know why i'm writing this but i was feeling nostalgic so here goes. i know i was a super annoying kid and honestly i don't know how you ever put up with me but guess what, i'm all grown-up now and going off to college! (well. i'm 18. so not really grown-up compared to you, but i'm not a little 10-year-old kid anymore either 
) and i guess i just thought i'd say hi because i was curious what you've been up to. anyway i hope you're doing well after all these years, it'd be cool to hear from you again i guess? but either way, you really influenced me a lot when i was younger so i'd like to thank you for being such an amazing person and always being kind to me. seriously, i don't know how you did it, because rereading my old posts on SI and lunalei and all that i realize like... whoa. i was. wow. i was a lot to handle. so yeah, "thank you" probably isn't enough to express how i feel but that's all i can think of. aite see ya. <3
) and i guess i just thought i'd say hi because i was curious what you've been up to. anyway i hope you're doing well after all these years, it'd be cool to hear from you again i guess? but either way, you really influenced me a lot when i was younger so i'd like to thank you for being such an amazing person and always being kind to me. seriously, i don't know how you did it, because rereading my old posts on SI and lunalei and all that i realize like... whoa. i was. wow. i was a lot to handle. so yeah, "thank you" probably isn't enough to express how i feel but that's all i can think of. aite see ya. <3
Hello! This is me giving you a critique of Healer Games, as per our exchange! I'm sorry I couldn't do that on AO3, because I did put myself on the waitlist but my account is due for registration on the 26th, which would exceed the deadline.
So, commentary! The most noticeable thing of your story is... well, the story. I mean it. The plot is very enticing, it combines elements of the classic nuzlocke with dystopian fiction and blends both very well. I like how you focus on Morgan's feelings over the madness there is in this universe. It really gets to her when her Pokémon die - at least most of the time... in a way that's completely different from Sera's. Sera is like "oh, crap, I'm sad, but it happens".
Character dynamics are great. You managed to shove in two completely antithetic main characters and make their bonding and arguments interesting. I wasn't expecting them to grow apart so fast after they discovered their feelings for each other. It leaves a feeling of suspense to their relationship (interpersonal relationship, I mean, not relationship-relationship) that keeps the readers on edge about where they're going to go, what they're going to do - not just with each other, with everything else too, since they kind of are the heroes and man, there are so many ways their respective "allegiances" with the evil teams could go wrong.
Did I mention I like villains with a garish morality? And villains who seem to be in it for the shits and giggles? So yes. I like your villains too.
One thing I find worth mentioning is that there are far too many queer characters. And look, I'm anything but cishet. It's not that I don't like queerness. It's just overloaded, to a point where after chapter 20 or so, literally every single chapter outs some character as something. It feels forced and there isn't enough room to actually explain those identities, but even if there were, there'd be too many to count. You don't want to run a work of fiction into a LGBT+ manual. If you are to do visibility in your work - a noble purpose, for sure - then select a few identities and put those in. Don't just throw everything into one piece of work. Morgan is tastefully done, to the point where the conversation with Genevieve felt unnecessary (because her identity had been already abundantly explained by the many moments in which she'd expressed, or thought, about her being or not being "a girl"), and Sera is a playful representation of polyamory... Steven kind of fits as trans, but everyone else, just, please no. There's too much of everything.
Anyway, aside from that one qualm about queer identities, it's a good story and it has me hyped for more.
Sorry this critique is not as in-depth as yours, if you think I've missed anything or want a more in-depth commentary on specific aspects let me know! \o/
So, commentary! The most noticeable thing of your story is... well, the story. I mean it. The plot is very enticing, it combines elements of the classic nuzlocke with dystopian fiction and blends both very well. I like how you focus on Morgan's feelings over the madness there is in this universe. It really gets to her when her Pokémon die - at least most of the time... in a way that's completely different from Sera's. Sera is like "oh, crap, I'm sad, but it happens".
Character dynamics are great. You managed to shove in two completely antithetic main characters and make their bonding and arguments interesting. I wasn't expecting them to grow apart so fast after they discovered their feelings for each other. It leaves a feeling of suspense to their relationship (interpersonal relationship, I mean, not relationship-relationship) that keeps the readers on edge about where they're going to go, what they're going to do - not just with each other, with everything else too, since they kind of are the heroes and man, there are so many ways their respective "allegiances" with the evil teams could go wrong.
Did I mention I like villains with a garish morality? And villains who seem to be in it for the shits and giggles? So yes. I like your villains too.
One thing I find worth mentioning is that there are far too many queer characters. And look, I'm anything but cishet. It's not that I don't like queerness. It's just overloaded, to a point where after chapter 20 or so, literally every single chapter outs some character as something. It feels forced and there isn't enough room to actually explain those identities, but even if there were, there'd be too many to count. You don't want to run a work of fiction into a LGBT+ manual. If you are to do visibility in your work - a noble purpose, for sure - then select a few identities and put those in. Don't just throw everything into one piece of work. Morgan is tastefully done, to the point where the conversation with Genevieve felt unnecessary (because her identity had been already abundantly explained by the many moments in which she'd expressed, or thought, about her being or not being "a girl"), and Sera is a playful representation of polyamory... Steven kind of fits as trans, but everyone else, just, please no. There's too much of everything.
Anyway, aside from that one qualm about queer identities, it's a good story and it has me hyped for more.
Sorry this critique is not as in-depth as yours, if you think I've missed anything or want a more in-depth commentary on specific aspects let me know! \o/
I thank you for the overall review, and I'm very glad you noticed so many of the differences in characterization and such~ The overall story is definitely something I've been passionate about and I'm glad you're enjoying it. ^-^
---
Unfortunately your one area of "critique" is not something I find useful or have any interest in considering. (I'd appreciate it if it could be left out of the Ao3 version as well, if you don't mind.) Of course I can't simply say "sorry not interested" without explaining why, so:
First of all, I'm pretty sure there are only about six total chapters where characters make their gender or orientation clear and the fact that you interpret that as "literally every single chapter" is... kind of concerning? Morgan's "uh am I into Sera idk" is pretty gradual so there's no defining moment there, but... Sera's interest in girls is made clear in Ch6. Morgan thinks about gender and Genevieve comes out in Ch 20. Steven (was hinted at when he first appeared and even very subtly in Pres. Stone's dialogue before that but) was made clear in Ch21, as were Archie and Matt and a mention of Lisia. Tabitha mentions he's bi in Ch23, Maxie makes it clear he and Archie used to be a couple in Ch27, and it's vaguely gleaned that Maxie probably isn't cis in Ch29. Feel free to tell me if I missed something but that's 6 out of 30. Seven if you count the vague nod to the cute-sad in-game "Mauville lesbians" in Ch11, but I don't feel like that cameo is worth counting when all it really does is reference a small thing (and try to reconcile it so they wound up happy together) and affirm that queer characters outside of major characters also exist (and imply their different social standings were a bigger roadblock than their orientation in this world).
But past that, to make my overall feelings on it clear: Characters do not need reasons to be queer, they don't need "explanations", and I'm not interested in toning that down or 'being selective' about who gets representation. (Though I mean, even though I say "they don't need reasons", I do have reasons, too, which I could explain either here or over IM if you want. I could also perhaps talk about some of my OCs and how I rarely "decide" to make them queer (or other things) so much as it just happens, and use that to demonstrate some of my character "development"/exploration process if you might be interested in seeing if that might be useful to you? As a different example, I think I mentioned Sera being so sunny was entirely unplanned and "just happened", so I could talk about stuff like that.)
But yeah. As a severe agoraphobe who knows nearly no one "irl" and spends almost all my social time in various online communities where those looking for an escape from "real" life tend to gather, a vast majority of people I know are people who are minorities in the grand scheme, so to me it doesn't feel strange when half a cast is queer. It feels normal, or even unrealistically low. The percentage of characters in this Nuzlocke who are queer is much lower than the percentage of people in my friend circles who are queer, and the social circles I'm exposed to affects what feels most natural for me to write. (Like, looking at the first 30 contacts I have on Skype, 2 I know are cishet and another 6 I don't know either way and the other 22 are all LGBT+ in some way. So... yeah. ....... Literally as I was finishing typing this one of my best friends messaged me to contemplate their gender. xD; Like we had already established "probably nonbinary somewhere???" but a thing prompted them to think about it more and yeah lol. This... this timing probably says something about my life roflmao.)
TL;DR though - My policy toward queer characters is to never ask "Should this character be queer?", but if it feels right to have something then ask, "Is there any reason to not?" Something like "this character is a villain and would be the only [whatever] character in the story which feeds 'evil queer' stereotypes" is a good reason not to. "There are a lot of queer characters already" is not a good reason to me.
---
Unfortunately your one area of "critique" is not something I find useful or have any interest in considering. (I'd appreciate it if it could be left out of the Ao3 version as well, if you don't mind.) Of course I can't simply say "sorry not interested" without explaining why, so:
First of all, I'm pretty sure there are only about six total chapters where characters make their gender or orientation clear and the fact that you interpret that as "literally every single chapter" is... kind of concerning? Morgan's "uh am I into Sera idk" is pretty gradual so there's no defining moment there, but... Sera's interest in girls is made clear in Ch6. Morgan thinks about gender and Genevieve comes out in Ch 20. Steven (was hinted at when he first appeared and even very subtly in Pres. Stone's dialogue before that but) was made clear in Ch21, as were Archie and Matt and a mention of Lisia. Tabitha mentions he's bi in Ch23, Maxie makes it clear he and Archie used to be a couple in Ch27, and it's vaguely gleaned that Maxie probably isn't cis in Ch29. Feel free to tell me if I missed something but that's 6 out of 30. Seven if you count the vague nod to the cute-sad in-game "Mauville lesbians" in Ch11, but I don't feel like that cameo is worth counting when all it really does is reference a small thing (and try to reconcile it so they wound up happy together) and affirm that queer characters outside of major characters also exist (and imply their different social standings were a bigger roadblock than their orientation in this world).
But past that, to make my overall feelings on it clear: Characters do not need reasons to be queer, they don't need "explanations", and I'm not interested in toning that down or 'being selective' about who gets representation. (Though I mean, even though I say "they don't need reasons", I do have reasons, too, which I could explain either here or over IM if you want. I could also perhaps talk about some of my OCs and how I rarely "decide" to make them queer (or other things) so much as it just happens, and use that to demonstrate some of my character "development"/exploration process if you might be interested in seeing if that might be useful to you? As a different example, I think I mentioned Sera being so sunny was entirely unplanned and "just happened", so I could talk about stuff like that.)
But yeah. As a severe agoraphobe who knows nearly no one "irl" and spends almost all my social time in various online communities where those looking for an escape from "real" life tend to gather, a vast majority of people I know are people who are minorities in the grand scheme, so to me it doesn't feel strange when half a cast is queer. It feels normal, or even unrealistically low. The percentage of characters in this Nuzlocke who are queer is much lower than the percentage of people in my friend circles who are queer, and the social circles I'm exposed to affects what feels most natural for me to write. (Like, looking at the first 30 contacts I have on Skype, 2 I know are cishet and another 6 I don't know either way and the other 22 are all LGBT+ in some way. So... yeah. ....... Literally as I was finishing typing this one of my best friends messaged me to contemplate their gender. xD; Like we had already established "probably nonbinary somewhere???" but a thing prompted them to think about it more and yeah lol. This... this timing probably says something about my life roflmao.)
TL;DR though - My policy toward queer characters is to never ask "Should this character be queer?", but if it feels right to have something then ask, "Is there any reason to not?" Something like "this character is a villain and would be the only [whatever] character in the story which feeds 'evil queer' stereotypes" is a good reason not to. "There are a lot of queer characters already" is not a good reason to me.
Hey there! Just wanted to drop by and say thank you for favoriting my Golden Sun sprites! I really appreciate it! 
thanks for faving ^_^
Thanks a lot for the fave!
Thanks for the favs